Trip to Amsterdam - Patatje Oorlog, Indonesian, Traditional Dutch and the Supper Club.

First an apology - it has been an unforgivable amount of time since I last posted. No excuses. I got lazy.

Any way, before I had my time away I had started writing this post, and I have decided to put it up as I left it. It's not finished, but it's worth putting up. I can no longer remember what I ate on the rest of our trip to Amsterdam, but what's below is worth knowing. So, there you go.

After this post I am going to attempt to write up my trip to Japan and all the amazing food I ate there. I was away a long time, but I've got it all written up long hand, so fingers crossed I'll remember everything ok.

Til next time...enjoy Amsterdam.


In February I went to Amsterdam with the Bear for a long weekend. It was such a great weekend. From coffee shops to the Supper Club, over three days we gorged ourselves on everything Amsterdam had to offer.

Getting Started

We arrived on the Friday afternoon and decided we didn't have time to fit in a museum before closing time, and headed straight to a cafe for some food. What better way to start than with a pancake? You can find them everywhere in Amsterdam and are usually served with a mixture of cheese, bacon, ham and of course sweet accompaniments. I went for the cheese and felt instantly part of the furniture. The pancakes or pankokken have the size of a crepe and halfway towards the thickness of an American pancake. Yum yum yum.

After our lunch we went for a stroll through the flower market and made the inevitable trip to a coffee shop. I won't say much about our experience in the Dampkring coffee shop except to say the mint tea was lovely, I had to have a lie down pretty soon after and I shan't be going anywhere near a coffee shop for the rest of the weekend. Nuff said.

First Meal - Indonesian - Tujuh Maret - 73 Utrechtsestraat - 7/10

After spending the rest of the afternoon flitting between deep sleep and uncontrollable fits of giggles we were bloody hungry. Amsterdam is famous for its Indonesian cuisine, a leftover from its imperial past. The Bear wanted to try a Rice Table or Rijsttafel. This is a dish unique to the Netherlands. It's the equivalent to our Chikken Tikka Marsala. You probably won't find it much in Indonesia but the Dutch are mad for it.

The basic idea is a plate with rice as the centre point with a number of side dishes around it that increase in chilli intensity. You can have as many or as few side dishes as you like. We went to one of the main eating streets in the city Utrechtsestraat, and headed to the not so famous but very yummy Tujuh Maret. The Bear got his Rijsttafel and was very happy with it. There was everything from satay vegetables to Beef Rendang (an Indonesian Beef curry with an almost dry coconut sauce). The only slight niggle was the heat. Even though the Bear had asked for his spicy he could easily handle it and was slightly disappointed. Great flavours though.

I went for the vegetarian selection and ordered some Prawn Satay on the side. My dish was a clear loser compared to the Bear's Rijsttafel. Although everything tasty nice it was a lot less colourful and the tofu was chewy, overdone and there was no heat whatsoever. The Prawn Satay on the other hand was great. It had a much lighter sauce than the vegetable satay, and it was thick and moreish. Something to get your hands sticky with!

We didn't get and booze with our meal, but instead some gorgeous fruit juices. I went for lychee juice and the Bear for Mango. I tell you what, they did us the world of good after our exploits in the afternoon.

The bill came to 60 Euros. Not too bad. But we didn't have starters or alcohol. Amsterdam isn't a cheap eat unless you live off chips and pancakes.

Albert Cuypmarkt - Breakfast on the Move.

After a night drinking Heineken, wandering through the Red Light District and playing chess in the Bull Dog we needed a good breakfast. And boy did we get it.



The Albert Cuypmarkt is a market in the De Pijp area of the city, open six days a week 9am - 5pmish. It's named after a seventeenth century painter and has been trading on Albert Cuypstraat for nearly a century. We decided to take a morning stroll through the stands which line each side of the road. There is a mixture of clothing, tat and food stalls. The food covers everything from Deli stalls, spices, cheese, meat, fish, hot food, veg, everything you could ever want or need. There's Greek, Dutch, Chinese, Middle Eastern, everything.

I must admit we got a bit carried away. We started off by munching through a huge thin, caramel filled Dutch waffle made fresh before our eyes. The man at the stall rolled up little balls of dough which he then squeezed flat and cooked in hydraulic waffle irons. He then clamped two waffles together with caramel. NAUGHTY. I got caramel all over my gloves. There was warm happy faces everywhere within 50 yards of the stall.

We then came across the Belgian Waffle stall. It would have been rude to say no. These are your traditional deep, thick, cross hatch waffles. Again they were cooked in huge waffle irons in front of us, dusted in icing sugar and then splattered with your choice of dark, milk or white chocolate. What a breakfast?! The dough was so light it melted in your mouth. Amazing.

Having consumed enough sugar to last us at least a week we wandered back through the market towards the Museum district to see some Van Gogh (of course). As we neared the end of the stalls we realised we missed the herring stall right at the front when we'd started walking. There was no way I was missing out on this, even if I had just eaten a pound of sugar!

They call it Hollandse Nieuwe or Dutch Sushi, and it consists of raw herring and some gherkins served on bread or just by themselves. The fish is beautiful. It's prepared in a special way, with the innards removed apart from the pancreas. The enzymes in the pancreas allow the fish to ripen, along with salt, and it's this process that gives the fish its signature taste. It's the perfect start to our first full day in Amsterdam.

Lunch - Old Amsterdamer and Heineken - Yum

After wandering round the Van Gogh Museum we needed some sustenance before we ventured forth into the Heineken Museum. Over the road from the imposing brown brick brewery there is a tiny brown cafe which serves great traditional Dutch lunches. I went for a simple yet perfectly formed Old Amsterdam (cheese) sandwich served with mustard sauce. Crusty roll, mature cheese, beer. Sorted.

The Bear went for the croquettes, which are minced beef and mashed potato deep fried. Pretty simple food, but the Bear commented that it made such a difference that good quality mince had been used, unlike the pub food you get in the UK more often than not.

Properly fortified we entered the Heineken brewery, which was very enjoyable, and we left suitably pissed.



Second Meal - Moeders - 251 Rozengracht - 9/10

We decided we needed to sample some traditional Dutch cuisine whilst we were in the city so we hot footed it to the Jordaan, which is a bohemian area of the city, filled with boutique shops, brown bars and teeny tiny restaurants boasting all cuisines.

We'd read about Moeders in the guide book, and the story of the restaurant intrigued us so much we just had to go. The restaurant was opened in 1990 and didn't have any decorations, cutlery, furniture etc. So the new owners ask their customers to donate a picture of their mother (aka Moeder) and whatever else they could spare. The result is a fantastic space covered from floor to ceiling with framed pictures of people's mothers, and a happy eclectic style and brilliant home comfort food.



The place was heaving. The atmosphere was great. Huge windows surround the dining area so you can gaze out into the streets of the city whilst eating top notch food. I started with the Lobster Soup, which was deep, rich and buttery with a huge punch of flavour. The Bear started with a Mama's Happas which is a plate of different hor'd eorves. There was Tuna Pate, Sabayon Oyster, Spinakopita (filo pastry with feta and spinach, and liver pate. We were both delighted.

For mains I had the fish of the day which was cooked in a lovely white wine sauce with sauted carrots (which I ate even though I normally hate carrots) and the Bear went for a traditional Dutch Stamppot. This is a hotchpotch of mashed potato with vegetables, Dutch sausage from the HEMA department store, bacon and a meatball. It was particularly hearty and the Bear had proper meat sweats by the end of it.



We couldn't face pudding after all that lot but we did go for a fresh mint tea which is a staple in all good Dutch restaurants, bars, cafes etc. The was accompanied by a biscuit tin with homemade cookies and shortbread which were awesome.

The whole lot came to around 60 euros again, which was a bargain considering all the seafood I'd had. The service was very friendly, the atmosphere was excellent and the food was delicious. I was definitely recommend this place to anyone travelling to Amsterdam. It's a bit off the beaten track but very much worth it.

The Last Supper - Valentines Day - The Supper Club - Jonge Roelensteeg - 10/10

The Big Easy - Kings Road - 7/10

Friday night, no place to go, what shall we do?? I know, let's go and spend a fortune on classic America fayre on the King's Road. Fabulous idea. And there's only one place for it - The Big Easy.

I've never been to The Big Easy before, but I've been wanting to try it for ages. It's famous for serving lots of seafood and lots of steak. So perfect for pescatarian me and full-blown carnivore The Bear.

The restaurant is decked out to look like an old school American shack, with dark wood interiors, brown paper tablecloths and the obligatory Americana stuck at weird angles to every bit of available ceiling. Think TGI Fridays but much much better.

The place is packed and its only 7pm - early doors. The music is brilliant. Everything from Jimi Hendrix to the Postal Service. And the service is warm and professional.

We went for the Seafood Platter to Share for starters which was good, if a little stingy for the £20 price tag. Two oysters each, two prawns and two crab claws. All were painfully fresh, but the prawns stood out from the rest. The whole lot was served with sweet chilli and Cocktail Sauce as well as Shallot Vinegar. Everything was homemade. The sweet chilli sauce in particular, which has a rich, ketchupy taste and consistency, was excellent. I could have eaten it twice though.

Our appetites duly whetted we waited for our mains, during which time I was tempted into a Lychee and Mint Martini. This little beauty was GORGEOUS. They spoilt it a bit by putting a glace cherry in the bottom of the glass, but I've never tasted such a smooth cocktail before. It went perfectly with my Alaskan King Crab Leg as well!

The mains turned up and hardly fit on the table. I went for the Crab Leg which was served with a House Salad (OK - Covered in Ranch dressing which I'm not keen on). It was huge. I mean this Crab must have been a ruddy monster! The leg was served simply with a wedge of lemon and sweet drawn butter. Sinful! What is essentially one of the healthiest things you can eat that isn't grown in the ground becomes so decadent when dipped in melted butter - but so so tasty. I was in my element.

As was The Bear, who went for the 600g Double Thick Cut Prime Rib Eye. It was massive. He got the meat sweats. All was right with the world.

We thought we might as well finish how we'd started, by overeating, and ordered the Pecan Pie and two espressos. The pie was yummy. Freshly prepared and cooked, the pastry was melt in your mouth, and the treacle filling oozed onto the plate when you dug into it. Top notch.

This meal was wonderful. Great food, great atmosphere, great service. Just one thing let it down. The price. I know steak is expensive, and I know good quality fresh seafood is also expensive. But £120 for two people is quite a lot. This place is definitely a treat rather than a regular haunt.

But don't fear. There's another similar restaurant down the road in Fulham called the Cabin Bar and Grill that is a good alternative (although there is less memorabilia about the place.)

Keep on chomping!!

One of the Best Meals of My Life

This meal didn't happen that recently, but I have been a little slack over the last month or two, and out of all the meals I've eaten since then, this one deserves a mention at least.

For my birthday the Bear took me to New York. It's everything you could ever want for a birthday, to be whisked off on a romantic long weekend. And it was great fun. We ate lots too. At least once every three hours. From pancakes, bagels, deli sandwiches, pizza, pretzels, you name it we ate it.

On the last night we made a reservation at a restaurant we've been wanting to go to for a long time - Les Halles. The scene of Anthony Bourdain's Kitchen Confidential. A restaurant with the motto, American Beef Prepared in the French Style. Not quite so good for me (a pseudo veggie) but very good for my carnivore companion.

We walked eight blocks in the pouring rain to be greeted by a lavish, dimly lit, French paradise. The restaurant is split in two by a long wooden bench and tables emanate from it. Every available space is full of diners, happily chomping down on fois gras and fillet steak. The latest pop tunes bubble away just audible to the diner, and there is an army of aproned staff, each with their own specific task.

I immediately loved the place. It's like Cafe Rouge but a million billion trillion times better. It's relaxed but not scruffy, it's French but not uptight. In short, it's perfect. And bloody cheap.

To start I had Escargot. The snails came in a deep, almost green, garlic butter in a special deep dish with six holes in it to house a snail each. The snails were meaty and juicy. I doubt very much I will ever have escargot like it again.

The Bear went for the Fois of course. Having read Bourdain's books I know he takes his fois gras very seriously, and so did the Bear. There was no talking during the starter. Just contented concentration.

For mains I had Seared Scallops with Artichoke and Potato Crisps. The scallops were huge, almost raw in the middle, and so so tasty. The artichoke had been cooked with fennel and had a lovely subtle aniseed flavour. All this was piled high with strands of potato deep fried until crunchy. It was awesome.

The Bear went for the steak and didn't speak again for a long time. It was expertly cooked and full of flavour. The chips were chunky. And the mayonnaise was homemade (of course).

For dessert we went all out. Oh yeah, Chocolate Souffle time baby. My god. I think I died and went to heaven for a full ten minutes when eating this perfectly gloopy, wicked pud!! The souffle was sat in a sea of hot chocolate sauce, and once stabbed with an eager fork, even more gungy, gooey, gorgeous chocolate oozed out of it. Yum yum yum yum yum yum yum.

The bill came to a piffling $120, which is about £75. What a bargain. The same meal would cost you at least twice that in London.

This restaurant almost makes me want to up sticks and move continent. That's how good it is. If you in New York City, please give this place a try. You won't regret it.

Wahaca - Chandos Place - Covent Garden - 9/10

Do you like Mexican food? Until Saturday I could take it or leave it. Your usual TGI Friday fajitas just aren't that appetizing. And a burrito covered in generic cheese and sour cream always leaves me feeling about ten stone heavier.

Luckily, Masterchef winner Thomasina Miers has come to my rescue!

On Saturday the Bear and I celebrated 3 years together (my how time flies) and we decided to theme the day. First off a trip to the British Museum for a lecture entitled "An Introduction to Mexican Cookery by Thomasina Miers". Around 150 people packed into the lecture theatre, where a huge table laden with chillies, tomatoes, avocado, squash, pumpkins and a whole host of Mexican produce covered the length of the stage.

Thomasina was very engaging and passionate about Mexican cuisine, making a trip to Mexico for me and the Bear pretty likely in the next couple of years. She made it clear that Mexican food is poorly represented in the UK, but had high hopes for the future. I wouldn't be surprised if she has her own Mexican cookery series on the telly pretty soon!

After the lecture we took a look round the Moctezuma exhibition which was packed with hundreds of beige, slow, annoying people, and then wandered down to Thomasina's restaurant Wahaca, to see if her food lived up to her enthusiasm.

We were not disappointed. Wahaca is a gem.

We arrived at the restaurant at 4pm, which is pretty early, even on a Saturday, but there was still a long queue down the steps leading to the main restaurant. We were told there was a 40 minute wait - you can't book. Undeterred we duly got a tequila cocktail from the bar and waited with the masses. Seats were scarce in the holding pen, and one wrong move could have led to a riot, but luckily my fellow would-be diners were cheery and patient (not so when we left at 6pm when the queue was three times as long and a lot more menacing!).

The no-booking policy is part of a whole market-eating philosophy which permeates the entire venue. Bright, fresh colours on the walls, high ceilings, lots of light wood and warm lighting colludes to make a pleasant and summery eatery.

After about 25 minutes we were shown to our table by a very amiable chap who talked us through the menu. The paper menus that double as table cloths are reminiscent of Wagamama, and the "food comes when its ready" approach confirms the similarity. Squiggles on the table settings confirm what you've ordered and brisk but professional and smiling service brings the whole experience together.

We went for a soup each to start, which isn't the first thing I would have thought of when going for a Mexican, but it was bloody scrummy! I went for the Black Bean Soup with a hint of chilli with diced avocado, toasted ancho, feta, crema and totopos. It came with the soup in a jug and the accompaniments lying in wait in a deep bowl. The soup was chunky, gloopy and beautiful smokey from the toasted ancho chillies. I have never tasted anything like it. The salty feta melted and swirled through the beans, and the crunch of totopos (think similar to nachos) added that little something extra to the texture. BEE-EE-EE-OO-TIFUL!

The Bear went for a similar soup, but with a Tomato base rather than bean, and with strips of chicken. He had a similar reaction to me. Top marks so far.

As a sort-of main we went for the Wahaca selection of street food. This includes 3 Pork Pibil Tacos, 3 Seasonal Vegetable Tacos, 2 Huitlacoche Quesadillas, 2 Smoked Herring Tostadas, 2 Chicken Taquitos and Black Beans and Green Rice. After the soup we were pretty full, but we did our best to demolish the street food.

First up the Huitlacoche Quesadillas, which are toasted flour tortillas with Mexican corn mushroom (which is a sort of fungus that grows on corn in Mexico and has a truffly flavour), British field mushrooms and lots of melted cheese. These parcels were oozing with earthy mushroom flavour and the cheese wasn't too cloying. There was a salsa verde and normal salsa on the table, and these quesadillas were luscious dipped in the spicy sweet tomatillo salsa.

The Smoked Herring Tostada is MSC approved - so a guilt free eat - and very tasty. Served on crisp tortillas with tomato and capers, they are light and fresh.

The Bear ripped into the Pork Pibil Tacos and Chicken Taquitos. The tacos are soft flour tortillas piled with slow cooked pork in a Yucatecan marinade. The Taquitos are corn tortillas wrapped around a filling and deep fried. The Bear managed to polish off all of his alloted street food.

I didn't fair so well. The Vegetable Tacos were rather neglected, but out of the lot they were by far the least exciting.

We were seriously full at this point. I mean dangerously full. Three taquila mojitos, and a belly full of beans. Not good. We were very very tempted by the Churros, which are long straight doughnuts served with a large quantity of sugar and a chocolate dipping sauce. I really did wany to try them, because they bring back memories of breakfast at the cental market in Valencia, but it wouldn't have been sensible. A reason to go back though.

The bill came to £63 - which is a lot - you could eat there for a lot less, but we had a lot of booze and a lot of food.

Wahaca is a breath of fresh air. Extremly tasty, light and fresh mexican food at affordable prices. The only drawback is not being able to book creating long waits to be seated.

I will be back.

Mien Tay - Lavender Hill - 7/10

The other night I took the recommendation of a work colleague and made a trip to Mien Tay, a Vietnamese restaurant on Lavender Hill near Clapham Junction. And boy am I glad I did.

As we walked up to the restaurant, the steamy windows drew us in from the chilly night outside. On the inside the place is pretty unassuming. Mirrors line the walls on two sides, and flaky magnolia paint adorns the rest. The main restaurant is raised up from street level, and kitted out in wicker furniture and paper table cloths. It looks very similar to its East End counterparts on the Kingsland Road, which is no bad thing.

Lifted by the shabby chic decor, the Bear and I plonked ourselves down for a feast.

First off, the drinks. The restaurant is bring your own booze, but the Bear and I stuck to non-alcoholic alternatives. He went for the Vietnamese coffee, which is served in a two tier contraption, with condensed milk in the bottom and the brewing coffee in the top. When the coffee is ready you pour it into the milk. If you're a fan of sweet coffee you'll like this, I had one sip and it gave me an instant sugar high. I went for the homemade lemonade, which was beautiful, and again, very sweet.

To start we ordered a Tofu and Bean Sprout Pancake and Roasted Whole Quail. The dishes come out when they're ready, and my pancake made the first appearance. It was huge, and very tasty. The crisp batter gave a delightful crunch which contrasted with the soft tofu beautifully. We thought they might have forgotten the quail so the Bear ate half of my starter, only to be faced with a whole bird to eat.

We over-ordered on the main course too. I went for the Tamarind Prawns and Vegetable Rice and the Bear ordered Whole Sea bass and Seafood Vermicelli.

The tamarind prawns were beautiful. They were coated in a sticky sweet tamarind sauce which oozed around the tender meat of the prawns - by far the best dish of the meal. The seabass was of an equal standard. The skin had been cooked so it crackled, with deep scores down its sides allowing the chilli and spice to soak into the succulent flesh. The mixture of coriander, chilli, ginger, garlic and onion was tip top. All fresh, all delicious.

The side dishes (which were bigger than the mains) were average. Vegetable rice is pretty much just vegetable rice. The seafood vermicelli came in a large bowl, with its constituent parts placed separately. There is a childish joy in mushing stuff together, and it was tasty, but it didn't sparkle like the other dishes, and the mussels were a little grey.

The service through out the meal was excellent and the total bill came to £42 including service, which was great value considering the amount of food we had. We could have done without at least a third of it.

I will definitely be back to Mien Tay. In fact, the Bear made his second trip only three days later. It must be a hit.

Zilli Fish - Brewer St - Soho - 9/10

This week I went for a girlie night out with Bangers and Bean (don't ask). We decided to go to Zilli Fish as they have an amazing set menu at the moment. Three courses for £19.90 - not bad.

The last time I went to Aldo Zilli's restaurant was on my 21st Birthday many moons ago, and it made a significant impact. I was worried that the restaurant wouldn't live up to my memories of Tuna Carpaccio and Lobster Spaghetti. I shouldn't have fretted.

We met in the pub first - The Warwick - which has a 50% off happy hour between 5pm - 8pm seven days a week - which is pretty impressive. This meant we had already consumed a bottle of wine before we even darkened the doors of Zilli.

We were greeted at the door by a very friendly Maitre d' and were offered any seat in the house practically. The restaurant was a tad on the empty side, but the room is encased by floor to ceiling windows, so the view of Soho is enough to make the place feel busy.

We all ordered the same thing, Thai Mussels to start and Spicy Seafood Spaghetti for mains. Plus a bottle of house white (of course). The starter was very generous, full of citrus and chilli, and perfectly cooked. The mussels were juicy and fat. My only complaint being there was nothing to soak up the beautiful broth with. A couple of pieces of bread would have been a nice touch.

The spaghetti was just as good. It was full to the brim with squid, prawns, langoustine, mussels and clams. The sauce was deep and warm with the heat of the chilli, and very comforting on the first drenched day of Autumn. There is nothing I can criticise about this dish. It was perfect.

The service throughout the meal was impeccable. Not once did we have to pour our own drinks and the speed of delivery was just right. We were given enough time to have a good old chin wag but not wonder where the food was. We were feeling so happy and well fed that we ordered another bottle of wine - oh dear!

We took a while to decide whether we wanted dessert or not, and in the end went for two between three of us. We shared the Pannacotta with Summer Fruit Coulis and Bannofee Pie. The Pannacotta was a large dome with a lashings of coulis. The texture was smooth and worked perfectly with the tartness of the fruit. The bannofee pie was pure cream with a bit of banana and toffee sandwiched between the biscuit base. It was very naughty and very nice.

The total was £104.00 including service, which isn't bad for a celebrity chef's restaurant, three courses, excellent food and damn-near perfect service. The only minus was the lack of atmosphere. But I'm sure on a Saturday night, when it's fully booked, the place is magic.

The three of us tottered very merrily through the deluge to Piccadilly Station.

Tangawizi - Richmond Road, St Margarets - 5/10

The other night, the Bear and I tried out an Indian restaurant down the road that has come in for some pretty high praise. Tangawizi - which means ginger in Swahili - was awarded the Michelin Bib Gourmand award 2007, 2008 and 2009, and garnered rave reviews from Time Out, Good Food Guide etc. Seeing as it is practically on our doorstep, we decided it would be rude not to give it a go.

We didn't get off to a good start. Earlier in the day we'd book a table for two, but about an hour before our meal, my parents and sister said they fancied coming. So I rang the restaurant to see whether this would be possible. They told me it was probably not, but they'd ring me back in ten minutes and let me know for sure. Good old Mum and Dad decided it wasn't worth the hassle, so I rang back and said we'd just keep the original booking. Ten minutes later I get a call to say that they did have a table for five. By this point I thought there's no point complicating matters further, so I accepted the table for five and off we toddled to the restaurant.

We got there, and there was only a table for two. Brilliant. Two different members of staff had spoken to me, but not to each other apparently. Poor Mum, Dad and Little Sis were banished to the Greek Restaurant over the road.

Although this might seem trivial, it indicated a lack of communication between the front of house staff which didn't bode well.

We were taken to our table, which was right at the back of the restaurant, crammed into the smallest space I've ever seen. The whole restaurant is pretty pokey, and I didn't feel very relaxed at all. The decoration is ultra modern, dark, purple and sensuous, complete with a nod to traditional curry houses in the form of purple and orange jewel encrusted flock wallpaper. The cramped space would be more tolerable if there wasn't the constant thud of bad house music in the background. Give me some soothing sitar any day over that! It felt like we were eating in a sleazy nightclub not a top notch Indian.

The staff are all dressed in traditional North Indian clothes to go with the traditional North Indian menu, and our waiter was very poite. We gave our order and waited for the food.

Our starters came in record time. I went for the Vegetarian Platter to start, which included Mango Paneer (cheese), Samosas, Fresh Mint Tikki (potato cakes), and Mixed Vegetable Pakora. It was nicely presented and the flavours were bursting. The dish was served with a trio of sauces, chilli, tamarind and mint which complimented the dish beautifully. This starter was probably the highlight of the meal.

The Bear went for the Duck Tikki, which is Tandoori roasted duck. It was a pretty small portion for the £10 price tag and was woefully overcooked. Poor Bear.

Our plates were cleared and we waited for a full two minutes - yes two minutes - before our mains arrived. "How on earth did we last such a long time between courses?" I hear you ask. Do not despair. During this short time, they managed to serve us, what was meant to be an Amuse Bouche, but was in fact a shot of Mango Lassi. This would have been a nice addition to the meal, had we not both been drinking a glass of mango lassi at the time. If you're going to give out Amuse Bouche in between courses, at least make sure they're blooming amusing!

Service can be bad for a multitude of reasons, one of which is too speedy delivery. At a restaurant like this you expect an understanding that a meal is not just a necessity, but something to be savoured and enjoyed over time. Otherwise, we might just as well stay home and eat in front of Eastenders. TWO MINUTES. Outrageous.

The food was tasty though. I went for the Goanese Prawn Curry, which is cooked in coconut, chilli and lime. The sauce was gloopy and perfect for gathering up in a decent chunk of garlic nan. There was a generous number of prawns, and I was fit to burst once finished.

The Bear went for the Chilli Lamb Kadhai, which is pieces of spring lamb cooked with onions, peppers and fresh green chillies. It was good. He ate it. We had a Dahl Tadka to share, which was average.

We were too full for desert, but were offered some Kulfi pieces with the bill, which was a nice touch.

Here's the part that hurts. The total bill came to £56.85 without service and with no alcohol. Now, I would happily pay this much for a curry if everything was perfect. But the service and atmosphere really did spoil things. We felt like herded cattle, moved on as quickly as possible to make way for the next cash cow. The food was good. But I've had similarly good curries for much less - once such place being Joy in Surbiton. I shan't be going back to Tangawizi. It didn't live up to the hype for me. But by all means give it a go. Maybe we just caught them on a bad night.

I wish I'd been banished to the Greek Restaurant over the road with the rest of the clan.

A Burger in a Corset - Ed's Easy Diners - Old Compton Street - 7/10

The other week, the Bear and I went to the London International Tattoo Convention at Tobacco Docks in Wapping. It was amazing! As well as some awesome tattoos, we saw some scary burlesque and a lot of cool clothes. We didn't get any ink, but I did blow a small fortune on a pair of shoes and my first ever corset - or waist cincher to be precise. I was so pleased with my new purchase that I put it on over my top straight away.

A corset is a weird thing, because all at once you can't breathe but you're filled with a new found confidence. The Bear and I were planning on being out all night, and I fully intended to wear my new purchase until the very end. That was until I went to Ed's Easy Diner on Old Compton Street.

I don't know if you've ever tried sitting down comfortably in a corset, let alone eat a burger in one, but it certainly isn't easy.

We were meeting some friends in Soho after the convention for a drink or two, but we were starving. The food at the convention was pretty rubbish. It was getting on for 9pm so a quick bite was on the cards.

We decided to go to Ed's Easy Diner on Old Compton Street. It's part of a small chain, with two other restaurants in the capital. Ed's is your classic retro American diner, complete with 1950's jukeboxes, swivel seats and shakes. Just sitting at the bar was pretty painful. Seriously, I don't think I've ever sat up straight for that long. But no pain no gain.

We ordered a Best of Ed's Fantastic Combo each and had a flick through the jukebox.

There is a bar that surrounds a central cooking area where you can watch you meal being prepared. The staff can walk between the grill and the bar to take your order. The whole place is buzzing and alive with the smell of cooking beef burgers and malted shakes. The nice thing about Ed's is that although its small, busy, noisy and a tad claustrophobic, it feels very relaxed. The staff smile at everyone who walks in the door. Apart from the guy actually cooking the food. He looked pretty miffed to be honest.

I went for the Sundried Tomato, Olive and Mozzarella Burger, which came with Onion Rings, Fries and Coleslaw. It was bloody tasty. The corset prevented me from finishing it all, but the onions rings were chunky and crisp, the burger was juicy and looked like it was made from fresh vegetables. The chips were OK. The Bear went for the Chicken New Yorker with a fried egg, which kept him quiet for five minutes or so.

The only thing that pissed me off about this place was the jukebox. We duly put our twenty pence into that damn thing, and did it work? Did it bollocks. The sound system played out Dusty Springfield about thirty thousand times, but no David Bowie, not even a note!

I managed to wolf down about half my food before I thought I was going to burst at the seems and fall to the floor in a big gooey burger mess. Needless to say, the corset came off pretty soon after. Next time I wear it, I won't be sitting down to a fried meal, that's for sure.

Altogether, two combo meals, two diet "colas" and service came to £24.24. Which ain't bad. Marks deducted for the jukebox scandal. A good alternative to McDonald's or Burger King though, and their milkshakes are awesome.

Abeno - Museum Street - London - 8.5/10

Luckily for me, the Bear had this Monday off work, so we decided to make the most of it, and try out a different kind of Japanese food. A couple of weeks ago we were browsing through an old 1000 Things To Do In London Time Out book, and we happened upon an entry about Abeno. This restaurant specialises in Okonomi-Yaki, which literally means "cook a little of what you like". Surprisingly, this type of Japanese street food isn't that well known, despite a recent surge in Japanese restaurants, and almost every sandwich shop in the capital selling Sushi. We had to give it a go.

The restaurant is situated on a road very close to the British Museum. It's pretty unassuming. A beige exterior with a little side door leads to a beige interior furnished with table after table equipped with it's own hot plate. It's not that busy and we're seated straight away.

We're given the menus, which come in Japanese and English, and a variety of specials and lunch deals are offered as well. The menu explains exactly what constitutes Okonomi-Yaki. They are "variations on a theme, the theme being a base of cabbage, egg and dough with spring onions, ginger and morsels of tempura' batter filled with a choice of filling and cooked in front of you." We order and wait for the theatre to begin.

First off we ordered some Yaki-Gyoza filled with prawns and fresh asparagus. The lovely looking fresh dumplings arrive with our waiter at our table, and he proceeded to fry the bottom of them, and then cleverly steam them underneath a metal dome with a splash of water, right there in front of us. The entire cooking process is part of the experience. The finished product was very tasty and the filling was very fresh. Some of the best dumplings I've had recently. My only complaint would be, why serve five? When you know there are two people at a table, why an odd number, why not serve six, or even four?

Next came the Piri-Piri Edamame, which are cooked soya beans in a chilli sauce. They were OK, although I couldn't really taste the chilli, and the serving was piteously small. I could buy five times that amount in Wagamama or some such place, for the same price - £3.50!

Now for the main event. Our lovely waiter returned to the table with two metal bowls containing our raw Okonomi-Yaki. The Bear went for the Tokyo mix - pork, prawns and squid, and I for the Tofu mix - tofu and sweetcorn. Our waiter mixed each bowl individually until the ingredients were thoroughly mashed together, and then spooned them onto the hot plate so they resembled a thick pancake. He then place the metal dome onto top to let them cook for a while.

Whilst this was taking place we managed to pick the waiters brains on Japanese food, and this restaurant in particular. It turns out that it's been there for 9 years, who knew! They opened another restaurant in Soho a couple of years ago, and have recently opened restaurant in Hampstead under the same name. We also managed to find out that he lived in Japan for four years, which is why he knew so much about it. He was very courteous and not at all put out by our questions.

Once the Okonomi-Yaki was cooked on both sides, he started the next stage - decoration! Each filling has a recommended decoration of different sauces and accompaniments. The Bear's Tokyo Mix was beautifully decorated in a spiral of Japanese Mayonnaise (which has rice vinegar in it making it slightly sweeter than normal), Okonomi-Yaki sauce, which has a close resemblance to our own HP, Powdered Seaweed, and Dried Smoked Fish Flakes. The end product was a complete work of art.

My Tofu Mix is traditionally decorated with Mirin (a type of rice wine), Powdered Seaweed and Dried Smoked Fish Flakes. Both Okonomi-Yaki looked a picture. And the fish flakes kept twitching in the heat of the hot plate. Quite a spectacle. The lovely waiter left us with the various condiments so we could add to it if we wished.

Now for the taste test. You attack the thing with a kind of mini shovel whilst it remains on the hot plate and then eat it with chopsticks, which is enormous fun. It tastes like nothing I have ever tried before. The mix of flavours and sauces is a heady Asian cocktail. The texture is a halfway house between Fritatta and Scrambled Egg. You could imagine eating this on a cold wintry day and feeling warm and dozy. Proper comfort food.

We went for the Super Deluxe version, which was perfect for The Bear, but far too much for me, especially with the starters. We were so full that there wasn't even a fleeting thought about pudding.

The bill came to £41.40 without service (which was excellent) which I think is pretty steep for lunch. But we did have the works in terms of food. No booze though.

The Okonomi-Yaki were worth every penny, so the restaurant gets two thumbs up for that. But a couple of things let it down. The starters were really overpriced for what they were. £3.50 for a small bowl of soya beans is just not on. And £5.50 for five dumplings is taking the piss.

If they sort out the disparity between the price for mains and starters, this place would be a 10/10. But as it is 8.5/10 will have to suffice.

Harvest Fayre - River Cottage - Dorset - 6/10

On Sunday morning after our meal at the Three Horseshoes Inn in Powerstock, we made our way to River Cottage - think Channel 4 and Hugh Fearnly-Whittingstall. They great man himself had opened the farm up for the day for a Harvest Fayre.

After negotiating some very tight bends on some very narrow country roads, we made it to the farm. There was quite a lot to see and do, from craft displays, to a catapult range, book signings and demonstrations, as well as food stalls.

We had a little look round and sampled some of the local produce on offer. From Elderflower Fizz to cheese, meat and jam, the show displayed the best the West Country had to offer. I ended up spending quite a lot at the South Devon Chilli Farm stall.

Gareth, the Bear and I had a go at the catapult, but none of us were much cop.

We then settled down to watch the duck and dog display with a bowl of spinach and chickpea tagine. It was very tasty, with a dollop of natural yoghurt on top. Just right for a lounge on the grass. It was a shame about the display though. Pretty boring if you ask me.

I'm glad I went to River Cottage and saw Hugh in action. But I have to say, that I felt a little removed from it all. As a staunch townie, it was just a little bit too country for me. I like the food, believe me. I'm just not that into hand made knives, old-school carpentry and basket weaving. Sorry.

I reckon I could be tempted back for one of his dinners though.

The Three Horseshoes Inn - Powerstock - Dorset - 7/10

It's been a while. Awfully sorry about that. I've been away and got lazy. I went to Sardinia and ate some fantastic food. If you ever get the chance you should go there and eat your way through a proper Sardinian meal. It's HUGE. Unfortunately I went away a while ago, and it wouldn't do the food justice for me to try and remember it properly, but take my word, it's good.

LUNCH:

More recently, I went to Dorset. Christmas last I got the Bear a voucher to go zorbing. If you haven't heard of it, is attaching yourself to the inside of a big plastic bubble and throwing yourself down a massive hill. The zorbing centre was just outside Dorchester so we decided to make a weekend of it and stay over in Dorset for a couple of nights. We scheduled in some excellent eating opportunities too.

We made it to the zorbing in record time on the Saturday morning and it was quite an experience. I loved every second of it! But the Bear was less impressed, and looked decidedly green after our little tumble.

We still had a good half an hour in the car before we got to the pub we were staying in, and the mix of hunger and adrenalin was starting to fray our tempers slightly. (Along with the Bear's insistence on not stopping at roundabouts!) We wound round tiny country lanes, up and down hills, for what seem like an eternity, and then finally we came to our home for the night. The Three Horseshoes Inn.

The pub is a proper old-man's pub, in a stone building, in the middle of a small village, consisting of a church, the pub, a primary school and a few houses. Perfect.

The pub has a restaurant one side, the bar the other, and a lovely stone terrace out the back, with stunning views of the rolling Dorset hills. We were shown to our room, which was a bit chintzy, but adequate, and then rushed back down to the pub for some lunch.

The lunch menu changes everyday, and is written on a blackboard opposite the bar. There are ten or so choices and we were easily decided. The bar itself, has a thatched roof above it, which is very cheery.

We decide to brave the wasps, and sit outside on the terrace. Despite it being September, the sun was out and blazing, and the view was just beautiful. We couldn't have hoped for better weather or a nicer setting.

I went for the sweet potato and goat's cheese risotto. It was beautifully presented, perfectly seasoned and sprinkled with balsamic. The Bear went for the Ham, Egg and Chips. The eggs were very fresh, and the yolk exploded with orangy goodness when speared by a chunky, crispy chip. The ham was thick cut and local.

We were so impressed by lunch, that we booked the restaurant for us and our chums for dinner.

DINNER:

After a trip to Lyme Regis, which included some fresh seafood (crab meat, whelks, prawns and cockles) and a cream tea, plus a little snooze on the beach in the September sunshine, we returned to the pub, with our chums in tow.

The sun was just setting behind the hills, so we enjoyed a local ale or two on the terrace and admired the vista. After a while it got a little chilly so we joined the rest of the pub's customers in the bar for a hearty meal.

Angela, Gareth and I went for the Scallops in a Lobster Bisque to start. It was excellent. The bisque was thick and full of flavour, and the fresh scallops melted in the mouth. The Bear had a Chicken and Spring Onion Salad with Mustard Mayo. He said it was very tasty and light. Which was good considering the epic proportions of his man course!

For mains, I went for the Fillet of Red Snapper with Crushed New Potatoes and Sun Dried Tomatoes. The fish was ever so slightly over cooked, but not so much that the dish was ruined, I just would have preferred it on the pink side. The crushed potatoes were exquisite. Sometimes you find crushed new potatoes have just been attacked by a spatula, but these were excellently flavoured with garlic and olive oil. They were really quite a treat. All in all, a pretty tasty main course.

Gareth went for the Whole Pigeon, which he said was a little dry, but very nice. Ange and The Bear went for the Whole Mallard with Orange and Ginger. It was huge!! Half the amount of duck would have been a big meal. The Bear did very well and managed to finish the whole thing (with the help of one of the pub's springer spaniels). And Ange did admirably, consuming at least two thirds.

As you can imagine, we were all pretty full, so we gave the puds a miss. Although they were very tempting, with everything on offer, from Star Anise Creme Brulee, Poached Pears, Sticky Toffee Pudding etc.

After a big meal, plenty of booze (including three after dinner brandies), it was very nice to be able to toddle up the stairs to bed. Albeit a chintzy one. The only slight niggle was the church bells going off every fifteen minutes throughout the night. I'm sure that didn't help the Bear with his digestion!

The whole lot, from the first pint on the terrace, to the last brandy, came to £147 without service. What a bloody bargain. The service was friendly and the food of a high standard. If they can stop the church bells, then I'll definitely be back.

Sitaaray - Dury Lane - London - 5/10

It was a very muggy day, like most of August thus far, and I was trudging through the tourists on Dury Lane to find Sitaaray. When I booked the restaurant I was really looking forward to it. I'm a massive curry fan. But the weather on this particular afternoon made me crave a fruit salad rather than a slap up Indian feast. As ever dedicated to the cause, I soldiered on.


Sitaaray is located on London's Dury Lane, which was heaving with tourists walking too slowly, and generally being a nuisance. So it was surprising to say the least when we walked into the restaurant to be greeted by nothing. Zilch. Not a single diner, nor any staff.


The only thing that saved the first impression of the place, was its unusual decoration. The two storey restaurant is covered ceiling to floor with Bollywood memorabilia. There are lush velvet booths, huge spangly chandeliers, and lots of red and gold. It was this alone that enamored the restaurant initially.

After a few moments a suit-clad gentleman entered the room from the kitchen to greet us. He was very courteous, and if I'm not mistaken, hugely grateful for our custom. We were sat in a booth on the second floor, which was beautiful, but a little snug. My thighs weren't designed to fit through a three inch gap between the table and chair arm, but oh well. Maybe it was a gimmick to encourage moderation.

We went for the two course set lunch menu, which included poppadoms, four grills to start, and then a selection of curries, roti and rice. Suitman asked for our dietary requirements and left us to it.

First the poppadoms came. There were all right. Although there was a distinct lack of lime pickle, which was horribly disappointing. They weren't your traditional round, plate-size poppadoms, but rather the small square ones that normally come in a packet from behind the pub counter.


Whilst tucking in our drinks came. We both went for the Mango Lassi, which was excellent. The thick yoghurty drink was thick with fruit and ice cold. The best I've had in London.

Next the starters, which were four grilled kebabs. My plate included Pudina Fish, grilled in a mint and chilli paste, Crispy Battered Fish flavoured with dill, Chapate Khumb, which is mushrooms grilled in a spicy red paste, and Methi Makkai Kabab, which is a sweetcorn patty cooked on an iron plate. All of the grills were excellent. Especially the mushrooms and the fish flavoured with dill. The presentation was pleasing as well with all the grills placed on a square stainless steel plate. The Bear was happy with his meat alternatives, which included spiced chargrilled chicken.

If I had rated the restaurant after the starters it would have got a much higher mark. Despite the lack of customers, the food so far was expertly cooked, and surprisingly light. The decor is something I've not seen before, and made you feel like you were in a Bollywood movie, with TV screens mounted on the walls playing hits. Think Hard Rock Cafe, but Bollywood.


But unfortunately, the main came, and it didn't live up to the rest of the meal. The Roti was ok, but a little greasy. The Tarka Dal and Matar Paneer were awash with cream. They was more cream than anything else. The Dal especially just had a few sad, black lentils floating like dead flies in a sea of pinky gunk. The one saving grace was the Sag, or spinach to you and me. It was cooked but not slimy, and big broad beans ran through it. There was no spinach left by the end, but quite a lot of everything else.

To recap: poppadoms - OK, mango lassi - yum yum yum, starters - pretty good, mains - bit rubbish.

One thing I will remember about Sitaaray is the loos. My, what a sight! I though I'd entered a 70's brothel. The toilets were tiled in this exquisitely kitch gold, which flowed along the walls, only interrupted by lavish mirrors. I want this toilet in my house!


Sitaaray was disappointing. The atmosphere was non-existent, and although the food started out great, it was downhill after the starter. The bill came to £40 including two courses, water, lassis and service.


I've been to better Indians. I probably won't go back to Sitaaray. But if you like a theme to your meal, then it might be worth a go. Best to go in the evening though, if you want any company.

Chompy's Mini Eat - Thai Metro - Charlotte Street - 5/10

The Bear and I went out for the afternoon. We had a wander round the British Museum and generally basked in the sun, for fear of it being one of the only sunny days this summer. During this lovely afternoon it was necessary to fuel up, and we decided to take a wander down Goodge Street to see what we could find.

We walked past the Thai and Chinese buffet when we saw that they were serving up onion rings!! We didn't really fancy the Spaghetti House or Ping Pong, so we decided to take a turn down Charlotte Street and try our luck there.

Almost straight away we noticed Thai Metro. It looked alright, and it had a very cheap lunch menu of two courses for £7.95. Nice.

We were quickly sat at a small but smart table in a clean and bright restaurant, full of lunch time business people. The Express Lunch menu was fairly extensive for such a low price and there were veggie options for most of the curries - although no prawns.

The Bear went for the Dumplings to start, which were a bit on the small side, but serviceable. I went for the Tempura Vegetables, which were OK. The batter was a little soggy, they weren't served with the right dipping sauce, and there was no aubergine (my personal favourite).

For the main event I went for the Tofu Red Curry, which was packed with veg and was a good size. There could have been more chilli though. The Bear went for the Chicken Panang, which he wolfed down. Pretty much without breathing.

For two courses each and two green teas (which were topped up during the meal) the bill came to £19 including service. I wouldn't go out of my way to go back, especially for an evening meal, but if you're hungry at lunch and in the area its a cheap and tasty way to go.

Tay Do - Kingsland Road - Shoreditch - 5/10

The other night the Bear and I were taken out by The Bastard and the Rocket. The Bastard and the Rocket are good friends of ours that we met in a field in Herefordshire one damp August weekend, whilst listening to UK Apache, but enough about that!

They're a lovely couple that live in Shoreditch, which is pretty much the opposite end of London to us, so they very kindly shared a bit of local restaurant knowledge. The Kingsland Road is lined with Vietnamese restaurants and the thought of some spicy noodle soup was the only thing that got me through my eight hours in the office that day.

The particular restaurant we went to was Tay Do, which is BYOB and bright green. The place is heaving, and the windows are sweaty with condensation. It looks very inviting in a basic kind of way. We're seated towards the back of the restaurant and given the extensive menu and glasses for our beer purchased from the offy next door.

The menu is very long. Too long really. I was overwhelmed by the choice and found myself relying on our friends to tell us what they'd had before. It's one of my pet hates, long menus. Especially when most of the dishes are just repeats with different meats. Undaunted, we order and await a feast.

The starters and main courses arrive as soon as they're ready, so there's no standing on ceremony. To begin with we ordered Summer Rolls and a starter Platter, which included Ribs, Spring Rolls, Crispy Seaweed and Prawn Toast. The platter was average, the spring rolls being the stand out. The Summer Rolls were better. They're pancakes filled with prawns, spring onion, cucumber and basil, served with plum dipping sauce. They were fresh and light, so they lived up to their Summer title. And the sauce was excellent.

The main course came rapidly after the starters. I went for the fried Tilapia with Mango sauce. It was a bit disappointing. The fish was pretty solid. If you picked it up and hit it over someones head, they'd probably get a concussion. Having said that, the flavour of the spices and mango sauce was very good, just a shame they'd been incinerated. It was served with a thin spicy dipping sauce, which made it more palatable, but nearly took my head off. A few chilli tears were shed by me over that sauce.

The Bear went for a noodle soup, as did the Rocket. They were both served with a separate portion of bean sprouts, Thai basil and lemon, which you could add to your soup at will, which was a nice touch. But the Bear was a little disappointed with the soup itself. The depth of flavour just wasn't there and the flavour of the stock over-powered everything else.

The Bastard went for Spicy Tofu, and she kindly put some my way. It was OK. The tofu was well cooked. It wasn't falling apart and it wasn't rock hard either. But again there was something lacking. I could see big slices of red chillies in the dish, but I couldn't really taste them.

We also ordered some Egg Fried Rice. I wouldn't normally mention this particular dish, as one is usually the same as another. But at this restaurant, it was the stand out for me. The egg used was bright orange and ran through the rice in generous veins. The rice was perfectly cooked. It's just a shame the more fancy plates didn't live up to the standard of their humble accompaniment.

What the food lacked in flavour, it made up for in quantity, so we were properly stuffed by the end of it. But one more disappointment was waiting. Once the plates were cleared, without so much as a "by your leave", the bill was thrust on the table. We hadn't even asked for it. It was pretty obvious that the staff wanted us to move on as quickly as possible so some more customers could jump in our graves. Not good.

To spite them we stayed drinking our beer for another 45 minutes. That'll show them.

The whole lot came to £42, which for four people is bloody cheap. So I guess that's one reason to go.

One other saving grace was the company. There wasn't a dull moment with the Bastard and the Rocket. In fact, the whole restaurant was jumping. I'm sure I would have got a hell of a lot more pissed off it it hadn't been for the atmosphere. The place had a real buzz and it certainly made up for its shortcomings. Everyone in the restaurant was having a good time, and I guess that's what this place is all about. Bring your mates, bring your beer, eat some food, and have a good time. And that's what we did. I'm sure the Bear, the Bastard, the Rocket and me will all be out eating again soon.

Chompy's Mini Eat - Sartaj Balti House - Earlham Street - Covent Garden - 8/10

Last night the Bear and I were going to the theatre, daaahlink. Therefore we didn't have much time between work and entertainment. In fact, we had exactly 45 minutes. But we didn't want to succumb to the bland cafe sandwich or the nasty takeaway. How on earth were we to eat well, and in so short a time, for little money?

The answer is the Sartaj Balti House. This unassuming restaurant is bang in the middle of Covent Garden by Seven Dials, surrounded by illustrious restaurants and pretty people. If you weren't on the look out for it, you'd miss it. The white outside leads to a dingy and dark interior packed with tables. The room is made to look even more crowded by the back wall, which is totally covered in mirrors.

Although it doesn't look much, this place is a real gem. They do a pre-theatre deal of any main balti dish with unlimited naan bread for £6.50. You just can't argue with that. Plus, the food is REALLY good.

I went for a Fish Dansak and the Bear went for the Chicken Dansak (we're both so original). The curry was spicy, full of fresh vegetables and flavour. The naan was crisp, non-greasy and moreish. We also ordered Mango Lassis to drink, which are yoghurty fruit drinks. They were the best I've had in London by a long way.

The service was speedy. The price was right. And we even got a minty chocolate with the bill. If you're ever in need of food in a rush, but don't want to pay £6 for an egg sandwich, then you should give this place a go.

Charlotte's Place - The Common - Ealing - 10/10

It was Saturday night, and the Bear and I had a plan. Step One: Go to his parent's house to pick up his free-standing dart board stand thing. Step Two: Go to a vegetarian South Indian restaurant in Hammersmith for a Dosa. Step Three: Watch Bruno at Hammersmith Cineworld. A fine plan.

But, my brain decided that it needed to go mental for a half an hour, and the plan fell to pieces. Half way to the Bear's parent's house, I decided that it was far too nice outside to go and sit in a restaurant with no garden or courtyard or anything, and then sit in the cinema. I ummed and ahhed for ages. We discussed going to Richmond green for a pint. Nope. We discussed getting a disposable BBQ and eating in the communal gardens of the Bear's flat. Nope Nope and Nope.

Eventually we decided to head to the parent's house and take it from there. With the dart board stand safely nestled on the back seat of the Bear's fourteen-year-old Vauxhall Corsa, the Bear's mum came up with a blinding suggestions. Charlotte's Place on Ealing Common.

Not known for it's outside dining, they had put a few tables on the pavement outside the restaurant to accommodate those keen on sitting outside. Luckily we nabbed one.

I've been to Charlotte's Place before, and it's always been for a special occasion. It's got a very good reputation is Ealing, and is one of the few "special occasion" restaurants in the area.

The restaurant is in a converted house on Ealing Common, split on two levels. The ground floor has eight or so tables, and then the same again in the basement. It's plainly decorated in white with sumptuous brown leather chairs and elegant dark wood tables. The tables outside were a bit more basic, but comfortable never the less.

We arrived with no reservation, which usually would be a problem, and there were no tables left inside. But the very polite staff sat us outside. They do an early bird menu between 6pm - 7pm which includes three courses, a cocktail and unlimited mineral water for £25. We arrived at 7:10pm so were fully prepared to pay full menu price, but the excellent staff let us in on the deal anyway. Very impressed so far.

The menu came accompanied by two warm rolls and butter. The rolls were freshly made, and hot to touch. Yum. Everything on the menu is included in the early bird deal and there is six or seven dishes to choose from for each course. There was also six cocktails to choose from for your free drink.

The Bear and I both went for the Bramble, which is gin, soda and blackberry. It was perfect for a summer afternoon, and I think the Bear started to regret offering to be the designated driver! We also were supplied with some sparkling water. Not something I would usually comment on, but this was special water. They make their own and is therefore free and unlimited because of its low cost to produce. Pretty impressive stuff.

I was given excellent and non-patronising advice on what wine to have with my food, tailored to my choice of dishes (fish, of course). In the end I plumped for the Sauvingnon Blanc.

Our starters arrived and they looked bloody good. The Bear went for the Warm Mackerel Fillet with Potato Salad, Beetroot Puree and Horseradish Cream. I had a little taste and it was exquisite. The small Mackerel fillet was perfectly cooked with crisp skin. The potato salad was bristling with heat from the horseradish cream, and the beetroot puree made the dish stand out from the plate with a well placed burst of colour.

I went for the Ceviche of Seabass with Marinated Fennel and a Mixed Cress and Citrus Salad. It was out of this world. The colour of the grapefruit and blood orange segments lifted the dish off the plate and made your mouth water. The tartness of the fruit complimented the fennel and Seabass to a tee. Both starters were superb summer dishes and exceeded my expectations. It was shaping up to be a pretty good summer's evening.

Next, the main course. Our appetites excited by the starters, we were eagerly anticipating the main. The Bear went for the Beef Onglet with Hand Cut Chips, Caramelised Onion, and Garlic Alioi. He was delighted with it. The meat was rare and tender. The chips were crispy on the outside and fluffy on the inside and well seasoned. A very big bear-shaped thumbs up.

I went for the Paupiette of Plaice Fillet and Scallop Mouse with Samphire and Chive Butter. Wow. This is something I have never had before, and the taste will stay with me for a long time. The plaice fillet was teased into a vessel which contained the most beautiful scallop mouse. The depth of flavour of the mouse was truly magical, amplified by the different textures. The samphire and chive butter made the fish sing with flavour. I cannot compliment this dish enough. One of the best dishes I have ever eaten.

Our plates were cleared by the ever-attentive waiting staff and we were given the desert menu. The Bear plumped for the Lime and Lemongrass Tart with Citrus and Coconut Salad with Creme Fraiche Ice Cream. The whole composition was excellent from the flavour combinations to the presentation. The creme fraiche ice cream in particular was spot on. The tart was caramelised on the top, which gave it pleasant crunch.

I went for the Strawberry Pannacotta, Shortbread Biscuit and a taster of Moscato D'Asti. I am a big pannacotta fan, and probably have it too often. This one in particular was accomplished and the shortbread biscuit was light. The taster of the Moscato D'Asti was a nice touch, and a pretty large measure for a freebie.

All in all the whole experience was out of this world. The service was attentive but not fussy or irksome. The staff made the whole restaurant feel relaxed but effortlessly professional. The food was exemplary. The total bill for three courses, two cocktails, a glass of wine, two coffees, water and service came to £70. Everything you could want from a meal, and at a good price too. If you're celebrating, or just in the area, at these prices everyone should be giving Charlotte's Place a go. I will certainly be back.

Magic Wok - Surbiton - 6.5/10

It was my parent's 30th anniversary the other day, which is a bloody long time, especially by today's standards, so we were in need of a celebration. We had intended to get a Chinese takeaway, but our favourite joint was shut for a holiday, so in the end we had to go out. What a chore!

Our minds set on a Chinese, we went to the best Chinese restaurant in the general vicinity of our house and ended up in the Magic Wok in Surbiton.

I've been to this restaurant a couple of times before, and it's renowned locally as a bit of a posh place. The waiters are kitted out in waist coats and long aprons and are very polite which falls in line with its reputation. Despite this, last time I went I managed to drink a certain quantity of sake and fall over on the way out of the building. Ah well, we can't be dignified all the time, can we?

The place is a little on the twee side, with a lot of black lacquer, cream table cloths, and Chinese New Year decorations. And it feels a bit empty. There are three tables including ours, which, I suppose, isn't too bad for a Tuesday night. But there's as many waiters as diners, which can't be good.

We're starving, and keen to order, but it took the five or so waiters a while to get their act together. But there is a constant flow prawn crackers, served with a fiery chilli dipping sauce, so we're happy.

We all plumped for soups to start. I had crabmeat and sweetcorn (as per usual), and it was just the thing. Usually you can expect a glutinous, slimy mess when you order Chinese soups, but this was full of chunky crab (of the stick variety, but I would have been disappointed with anything else). The hot and sour soup, had by both my parents, could have been a little bit hotter, but was plenty sour. And my sister's won ton soup wasn't too watery.

Our hunger had lessened by a degree now, so the blood sugar was up, and it was a pleasant wait for the main course.

Our tabled was filled plates including Sechuan king prawns, sticky chilli beef, crispy lamb with lemon and honey, Singapore noodles, chicken hot pot and rice.

The prawns could have been a little spicier, but the sauce was packed full of flavour, although the garlic was a touch on the burnt side. The Singapore noodles were a little oily but good. There was praise for most of the dishes, but the stand out was the hot pot. It came on a wooden plate, and was sizzling as it was placed on the table. It took a good few minutes before you could even serve it. It was a pleasing spectacle. The only dish to let us down was the lamb. It had a nice flavour, but was a bit fatty.

We polished off every last morsel, which is testament to our amazing ordering skills, as usually there's far too much. The whole lot, with two soft drinks and a bottle of wine and service, came to £70. Not bad.

It's a good place for a decent Chinese. Better than your average but a little on the pricey side.

Quaglino’s – Bury Street – London – 6.5/10

The Bear and I managed to wangle a free lunch at Quaglino’s the other day through a very nice website that I use a lot but shall not name.

I first experienced Quaglino’s when I was ten years old, when the whole family decamped there for my mum’s fortieth birthday. That meal has remained in my psyche since. My ten year-old-self was awed by the sweeping marble staircase, the ultra chic black and white décor and the shear glamour of the restaurant. Plus I had the most amazing cod, which had crisps skin that I can still taste.

Quaglino’s had a lot to live up to, what with my childhood memories and that. Initially, everything went very well. We walked through the unassuming glass doors on Bury Street and down the first set of stairs where the Maître d met us. We were led to our table down the staircase to the massive floor below. The restaurant wasn’t even a quarter full, but then it was Wednesday afternoon, so I am willing to give them the benefit of the doubt. The atmosphere was slightly lacking.

The actual restaurant had retained some of the glamour that stained my memory, but the huge columns that lined the room and surrounded the glass ceiling, were decorated in rather odd, colourful prints, that didn’t add anything at all. I may be being artistically dense, but it didn’t work for me.

The centre of the room was lined with beautiful white vases full to bursting with thick red roses, which suited the black and white tables much better.

We were seated and given the free set menu. There was a choice of three dishes for each course, which was adequate. The service was brisk but pleasant and within five minutes we had ordered our drinks and food.

Whilst waiting for the first course, a rather disagreeable aural sensation started to take hold. After straining our ears to distinguish what on earth it was we could hear, we realised, to our astonishment, that yes, it was lift music. “Please make it stop” ran through my head a few times throughout the course of the meal. Why do restaurants, especially of this calibre, insist on pumping insipid, irritating and totally unnecessary Casio-dribble into the room? Silence is golden. Chatter is charming. Funky jazz is wrong. What a shame.

Our starters came, and I was delighted with my goat’s cheese and caramelised onion tart. The pastry was dense but not too thick, and the portion was very generous. The filling was creamy with a good balance between the two components. The Bear went for the ham hock terrine with sauce gribeche. His words were “It’s nice, like spam”. I think this is a verbal thumbs up, but I can’t be sure.

The main was just as good. I went for a crustade of asparagus, with poached egg and hollandaise sauce. Although it was a little on the cold side, the asparagus was tender, the pastry was full of butter and the sauce was delicate. Very good indeed.

The Bear went for the chicken bourguignon with mashed potato. He was pleased, and the small amount of mash that I sampled was fab. Lots of butter and very creamy.

The food had come thick and fast up until now, so it was a little disappointing to be kept waiting for our desert, but it was worth waiting for.

I went for the lemon tart (god I ate a lot of pastry that day!), which was good. But not as good as the caramelised lemon tart I had at Lindsey House in Eye. Could do better.

The Bear had the Peach Melba. My god, it was a masterpiece. Fresh whipped vanilla cream, homemade ice cream, oozing fresh poached peaches and lots and lots of naughtiness. It worth going to Quaglino’s just for this. If you go, you should get one, it’s on the a la carte menu.

Nicely full, but not bursting, it was time to get the bill. Now, please bear in mind that this was a freebie and therefore does not accurately reflect the actual cost of the food. We paid for three courses, a glass of wine each, a bottle of mineral water and service, £16. What a joke!!

In the real world you can expect to pay at least another £50 on top of that, if you’re being conservative with the booze.

All in all, the food was good, the service was ok, and the décor was ok. I would probably go back. But please oh please, sort out the music. It spoilt an otherwise splendid afternoon.

Chompy's Mini Eat - Elias Kebab - Turnham Green Terrace - London - 10/10

Do you like falafal? Is so, you need to visit this place. If not, you need to visit this place and be converted.

Elias is a normal looking kebab shop. A few fake-marble topped tables with plastic chairs. A counter filled with cans of pop and various salads and sauces. It's a Lebanese kebab house and the menu is extensive. As well as the usual schwarmas there is a huge list of cold and hot meze dishes and different vegetarian sandwiches.

I was taken by The Bear on the promise of the best falafal in West London, and I wasn't disappointed. We both went for half falafal, half spicy potato, with all the salads and chilli sauce.

We took our load down to Turnham Green as it was a nice hot evening, and settled down to a good munch.

A boy was it good! Soft, crumbly falafal. Thin, non-sticky, spicy sauce. Crisp, floury pitta. Fresh and tasty salad.

GO HERE NOW!!

Pizza Metro Pizza – Battersea Rise – Clapham – 7/10

It has been awfully warm this week, and South London seemed like another country. Gentle breezes, people dining and drinking al fresco, horrid sweaty commuter trains. Ah, the British Summer.

Anyhoo, it feels like a holiday, even if we all have to work as well. So the other night, the Bear and I, and a few chums, went out for a catch up at Pizza Metro Pizza near Clapham Junction. Not by design, but by happy chance, we ended up at this delightful little Italian. How very July.

The restaurant is on the hill leading up to Clapham Common. It looks fairly inconsequential from the outside, if not a little dated. And on the inside the theme continues. Wooden chairs, tiled floor, framed vistas of Italy. Your usual basically.

What makes this local Italian stand out from the ever-growing throng of local Italians is the way they serve their pizzas. All the pizzas are served dramatically on metre long stainless steel pans, set on stainless steel shelves along the length of the table. All the different ingredients for each pizza are set into the same metre-long stretch of dough and divided up pre-serving.

The service was a little on the slow side. We ordered drinks. Pause. We received drinks. BIG pause. We ordered food. Pause. We ask for pepper. Pause. You get the drift. Also, on a hot night like this a jug or two or ice water was required. We were given this initially, but then it was taken away inexplicably and never returned. We asked for extra cutlery that didn’t make it to the table. Small things, but important. The restaurant was busy, but throughout the meal the waiting staff could have been a bit more attentive.

Three of us went for the pizza, and three for the pasta. The pizza was excellent. It had a lovely crisp, floury base, with well-seasoned basil and tomato sauce. The fresh basil on top was a nice touch. I went for the Napoli (my favourite pizza of all time – I eat it everywhere), which has anchovies, capers, and olives. It was very good and generous on the toppings.

The chilli oil was good too. It’s one of my pet hates in such establishments, when the chilli oil is just pink gloop, and you have to lob an artery-busting volume of it on your pizza to get any warmth at all. Luckily this wasn’t the case here. In fact I may have underestimated the power of it.

The pasta side of the table were well pleased too. The pasta was freshly made and al dente. The sauces were rich and deep. The Spaghetti Vongole had a mountain of clams in it. All in all, the food was superb.

An hour or so later we’d eaten our fill, and boy was I glad I just had a main course! The food is copious and filling, but not greasy or cloying.

In total for six main courses plus two bottles of wine and service the bill came to £112. Not bad eh?? Minus points for the service, but the food and the atmosphere were tiptop.