Tay Do - Kingsland Road - Shoreditch - 5/10

The other night the Bear and I were taken out by The Bastard and the Rocket. The Bastard and the Rocket are good friends of ours that we met in a field in Herefordshire one damp August weekend, whilst listening to UK Apache, but enough about that!

They're a lovely couple that live in Shoreditch, which is pretty much the opposite end of London to us, so they very kindly shared a bit of local restaurant knowledge. The Kingsland Road is lined with Vietnamese restaurants and the thought of some spicy noodle soup was the only thing that got me through my eight hours in the office that day.

The particular restaurant we went to was Tay Do, which is BYOB and bright green. The place is heaving, and the windows are sweaty with condensation. It looks very inviting in a basic kind of way. We're seated towards the back of the restaurant and given the extensive menu and glasses for our beer purchased from the offy next door.

The menu is very long. Too long really. I was overwhelmed by the choice and found myself relying on our friends to tell us what they'd had before. It's one of my pet hates, long menus. Especially when most of the dishes are just repeats with different meats. Undaunted, we order and await a feast.

The starters and main courses arrive as soon as they're ready, so there's no standing on ceremony. To begin with we ordered Summer Rolls and a starter Platter, which included Ribs, Spring Rolls, Crispy Seaweed and Prawn Toast. The platter was average, the spring rolls being the stand out. The Summer Rolls were better. They're pancakes filled with prawns, spring onion, cucumber and basil, served with plum dipping sauce. They were fresh and light, so they lived up to their Summer title. And the sauce was excellent.

The main course came rapidly after the starters. I went for the fried Tilapia with Mango sauce. It was a bit disappointing. The fish was pretty solid. If you picked it up and hit it over someones head, they'd probably get a concussion. Having said that, the flavour of the spices and mango sauce was very good, just a shame they'd been incinerated. It was served with a thin spicy dipping sauce, which made it more palatable, but nearly took my head off. A few chilli tears were shed by me over that sauce.

The Bear went for a noodle soup, as did the Rocket. They were both served with a separate portion of bean sprouts, Thai basil and lemon, which you could add to your soup at will, which was a nice touch. But the Bear was a little disappointed with the soup itself. The depth of flavour just wasn't there and the flavour of the stock over-powered everything else.

The Bastard went for Spicy Tofu, and she kindly put some my way. It was OK. The tofu was well cooked. It wasn't falling apart and it wasn't rock hard either. But again there was something lacking. I could see big slices of red chillies in the dish, but I couldn't really taste them.

We also ordered some Egg Fried Rice. I wouldn't normally mention this particular dish, as one is usually the same as another. But at this restaurant, it was the stand out for me. The egg used was bright orange and ran through the rice in generous veins. The rice was perfectly cooked. It's just a shame the more fancy plates didn't live up to the standard of their humble accompaniment.

What the food lacked in flavour, it made up for in quantity, so we were properly stuffed by the end of it. But one more disappointment was waiting. Once the plates were cleared, without so much as a "by your leave", the bill was thrust on the table. We hadn't even asked for it. It was pretty obvious that the staff wanted us to move on as quickly as possible so some more customers could jump in our graves. Not good.

To spite them we stayed drinking our beer for another 45 minutes. That'll show them.

The whole lot came to £42, which for four people is bloody cheap. So I guess that's one reason to go.

One other saving grace was the company. There wasn't a dull moment with the Bastard and the Rocket. In fact, the whole restaurant was jumping. I'm sure I would have got a hell of a lot more pissed off it it hadn't been for the atmosphere. The place had a real buzz and it certainly made up for its shortcomings. Everyone in the restaurant was having a good time, and I guess that's what this place is all about. Bring your mates, bring your beer, eat some food, and have a good time. And that's what we did. I'm sure the Bear, the Bastard, the Rocket and me will all be out eating again soon.

Chompy's Mini Eat - Sartaj Balti House - Earlham Street - Covent Garden - 8/10

Last night the Bear and I were going to the theatre, daaahlink. Therefore we didn't have much time between work and entertainment. In fact, we had exactly 45 minutes. But we didn't want to succumb to the bland cafe sandwich or the nasty takeaway. How on earth were we to eat well, and in so short a time, for little money?

The answer is the Sartaj Balti House. This unassuming restaurant is bang in the middle of Covent Garden by Seven Dials, surrounded by illustrious restaurants and pretty people. If you weren't on the look out for it, you'd miss it. The white outside leads to a dingy and dark interior packed with tables. The room is made to look even more crowded by the back wall, which is totally covered in mirrors.

Although it doesn't look much, this place is a real gem. They do a pre-theatre deal of any main balti dish with unlimited naan bread for £6.50. You just can't argue with that. Plus, the food is REALLY good.

I went for a Fish Dansak and the Bear went for the Chicken Dansak (we're both so original). The curry was spicy, full of fresh vegetables and flavour. The naan was crisp, non-greasy and moreish. We also ordered Mango Lassis to drink, which are yoghurty fruit drinks. They were the best I've had in London by a long way.

The service was speedy. The price was right. And we even got a minty chocolate with the bill. If you're ever in need of food in a rush, but don't want to pay £6 for an egg sandwich, then you should give this place a go.

Charlotte's Place - The Common - Ealing - 10/10

It was Saturday night, and the Bear and I had a plan. Step One: Go to his parent's house to pick up his free-standing dart board stand thing. Step Two: Go to a vegetarian South Indian restaurant in Hammersmith for a Dosa. Step Three: Watch Bruno at Hammersmith Cineworld. A fine plan.

But, my brain decided that it needed to go mental for a half an hour, and the plan fell to pieces. Half way to the Bear's parent's house, I decided that it was far too nice outside to go and sit in a restaurant with no garden or courtyard or anything, and then sit in the cinema. I ummed and ahhed for ages. We discussed going to Richmond green for a pint. Nope. We discussed getting a disposable BBQ and eating in the communal gardens of the Bear's flat. Nope Nope and Nope.

Eventually we decided to head to the parent's house and take it from there. With the dart board stand safely nestled on the back seat of the Bear's fourteen-year-old Vauxhall Corsa, the Bear's mum came up with a blinding suggestions. Charlotte's Place on Ealing Common.

Not known for it's outside dining, they had put a few tables on the pavement outside the restaurant to accommodate those keen on sitting outside. Luckily we nabbed one.

I've been to Charlotte's Place before, and it's always been for a special occasion. It's got a very good reputation is Ealing, and is one of the few "special occasion" restaurants in the area.

The restaurant is in a converted house on Ealing Common, split on two levels. The ground floor has eight or so tables, and then the same again in the basement. It's plainly decorated in white with sumptuous brown leather chairs and elegant dark wood tables. The tables outside were a bit more basic, but comfortable never the less.

We arrived with no reservation, which usually would be a problem, and there were no tables left inside. But the very polite staff sat us outside. They do an early bird menu between 6pm - 7pm which includes three courses, a cocktail and unlimited mineral water for £25. We arrived at 7:10pm so were fully prepared to pay full menu price, but the excellent staff let us in on the deal anyway. Very impressed so far.

The menu came accompanied by two warm rolls and butter. The rolls were freshly made, and hot to touch. Yum. Everything on the menu is included in the early bird deal and there is six or seven dishes to choose from for each course. There was also six cocktails to choose from for your free drink.

The Bear and I both went for the Bramble, which is gin, soda and blackberry. It was perfect for a summer afternoon, and I think the Bear started to regret offering to be the designated driver! We also were supplied with some sparkling water. Not something I would usually comment on, but this was special water. They make their own and is therefore free and unlimited because of its low cost to produce. Pretty impressive stuff.

I was given excellent and non-patronising advice on what wine to have with my food, tailored to my choice of dishes (fish, of course). In the end I plumped for the Sauvingnon Blanc.

Our starters arrived and they looked bloody good. The Bear went for the Warm Mackerel Fillet with Potato Salad, Beetroot Puree and Horseradish Cream. I had a little taste and it was exquisite. The small Mackerel fillet was perfectly cooked with crisp skin. The potato salad was bristling with heat from the horseradish cream, and the beetroot puree made the dish stand out from the plate with a well placed burst of colour.

I went for the Ceviche of Seabass with Marinated Fennel and a Mixed Cress and Citrus Salad. It was out of this world. The colour of the grapefruit and blood orange segments lifted the dish off the plate and made your mouth water. The tartness of the fruit complimented the fennel and Seabass to a tee. Both starters were superb summer dishes and exceeded my expectations. It was shaping up to be a pretty good summer's evening.

Next, the main course. Our appetites excited by the starters, we were eagerly anticipating the main. The Bear went for the Beef Onglet with Hand Cut Chips, Caramelised Onion, and Garlic Alioi. He was delighted with it. The meat was rare and tender. The chips were crispy on the outside and fluffy on the inside and well seasoned. A very big bear-shaped thumbs up.

I went for the Paupiette of Plaice Fillet and Scallop Mouse with Samphire and Chive Butter. Wow. This is something I have never had before, and the taste will stay with me for a long time. The plaice fillet was teased into a vessel which contained the most beautiful scallop mouse. The depth of flavour of the mouse was truly magical, amplified by the different textures. The samphire and chive butter made the fish sing with flavour. I cannot compliment this dish enough. One of the best dishes I have ever eaten.

Our plates were cleared by the ever-attentive waiting staff and we were given the desert menu. The Bear plumped for the Lime and Lemongrass Tart with Citrus and Coconut Salad with Creme Fraiche Ice Cream. The whole composition was excellent from the flavour combinations to the presentation. The creme fraiche ice cream in particular was spot on. The tart was caramelised on the top, which gave it pleasant crunch.

I went for the Strawberry Pannacotta, Shortbread Biscuit and a taster of Moscato D'Asti. I am a big pannacotta fan, and probably have it too often. This one in particular was accomplished and the shortbread biscuit was light. The taster of the Moscato D'Asti was a nice touch, and a pretty large measure for a freebie.

All in all the whole experience was out of this world. The service was attentive but not fussy or irksome. The staff made the whole restaurant feel relaxed but effortlessly professional. The food was exemplary. The total bill for three courses, two cocktails, a glass of wine, two coffees, water and service came to £70. Everything you could want from a meal, and at a good price too. If you're celebrating, or just in the area, at these prices everyone should be giving Charlotte's Place a go. I will certainly be back.

Magic Wok - Surbiton - 6.5/10

It was my parent's 30th anniversary the other day, which is a bloody long time, especially by today's standards, so we were in need of a celebration. We had intended to get a Chinese takeaway, but our favourite joint was shut for a holiday, so in the end we had to go out. What a chore!

Our minds set on a Chinese, we went to the best Chinese restaurant in the general vicinity of our house and ended up in the Magic Wok in Surbiton.

I've been to this restaurant a couple of times before, and it's renowned locally as a bit of a posh place. The waiters are kitted out in waist coats and long aprons and are very polite which falls in line with its reputation. Despite this, last time I went I managed to drink a certain quantity of sake and fall over on the way out of the building. Ah well, we can't be dignified all the time, can we?

The place is a little on the twee side, with a lot of black lacquer, cream table cloths, and Chinese New Year decorations. And it feels a bit empty. There are three tables including ours, which, I suppose, isn't too bad for a Tuesday night. But there's as many waiters as diners, which can't be good.

We're starving, and keen to order, but it took the five or so waiters a while to get their act together. But there is a constant flow prawn crackers, served with a fiery chilli dipping sauce, so we're happy.

We all plumped for soups to start. I had crabmeat and sweetcorn (as per usual), and it was just the thing. Usually you can expect a glutinous, slimy mess when you order Chinese soups, but this was full of chunky crab (of the stick variety, but I would have been disappointed with anything else). The hot and sour soup, had by both my parents, could have been a little bit hotter, but was plenty sour. And my sister's won ton soup wasn't too watery.

Our hunger had lessened by a degree now, so the blood sugar was up, and it was a pleasant wait for the main course.

Our tabled was filled plates including Sechuan king prawns, sticky chilli beef, crispy lamb with lemon and honey, Singapore noodles, chicken hot pot and rice.

The prawns could have been a little spicier, but the sauce was packed full of flavour, although the garlic was a touch on the burnt side. The Singapore noodles were a little oily but good. There was praise for most of the dishes, but the stand out was the hot pot. It came on a wooden plate, and was sizzling as it was placed on the table. It took a good few minutes before you could even serve it. It was a pleasing spectacle. The only dish to let us down was the lamb. It had a nice flavour, but was a bit fatty.

We polished off every last morsel, which is testament to our amazing ordering skills, as usually there's far too much. The whole lot, with two soft drinks and a bottle of wine and service, came to £70. Not bad.

It's a good place for a decent Chinese. Better than your average but a little on the pricey side.

Quaglino’s – Bury Street – London – 6.5/10

The Bear and I managed to wangle a free lunch at Quaglino’s the other day through a very nice website that I use a lot but shall not name.

I first experienced Quaglino’s when I was ten years old, when the whole family decamped there for my mum’s fortieth birthday. That meal has remained in my psyche since. My ten year-old-self was awed by the sweeping marble staircase, the ultra chic black and white décor and the shear glamour of the restaurant. Plus I had the most amazing cod, which had crisps skin that I can still taste.

Quaglino’s had a lot to live up to, what with my childhood memories and that. Initially, everything went very well. We walked through the unassuming glass doors on Bury Street and down the first set of stairs where the Maître d met us. We were led to our table down the staircase to the massive floor below. The restaurant wasn’t even a quarter full, but then it was Wednesday afternoon, so I am willing to give them the benefit of the doubt. The atmosphere was slightly lacking.

The actual restaurant had retained some of the glamour that stained my memory, but the huge columns that lined the room and surrounded the glass ceiling, were decorated in rather odd, colourful prints, that didn’t add anything at all. I may be being artistically dense, but it didn’t work for me.

The centre of the room was lined with beautiful white vases full to bursting with thick red roses, which suited the black and white tables much better.

We were seated and given the free set menu. There was a choice of three dishes for each course, which was adequate. The service was brisk but pleasant and within five minutes we had ordered our drinks and food.

Whilst waiting for the first course, a rather disagreeable aural sensation started to take hold. After straining our ears to distinguish what on earth it was we could hear, we realised, to our astonishment, that yes, it was lift music. “Please make it stop” ran through my head a few times throughout the course of the meal. Why do restaurants, especially of this calibre, insist on pumping insipid, irritating and totally unnecessary Casio-dribble into the room? Silence is golden. Chatter is charming. Funky jazz is wrong. What a shame.

Our starters came, and I was delighted with my goat’s cheese and caramelised onion tart. The pastry was dense but not too thick, and the portion was very generous. The filling was creamy with a good balance between the two components. The Bear went for the ham hock terrine with sauce gribeche. His words were “It’s nice, like spam”. I think this is a verbal thumbs up, but I can’t be sure.

The main was just as good. I went for a crustade of asparagus, with poached egg and hollandaise sauce. Although it was a little on the cold side, the asparagus was tender, the pastry was full of butter and the sauce was delicate. Very good indeed.

The Bear went for the chicken bourguignon with mashed potato. He was pleased, and the small amount of mash that I sampled was fab. Lots of butter and very creamy.

The food had come thick and fast up until now, so it was a little disappointing to be kept waiting for our desert, but it was worth waiting for.

I went for the lemon tart (god I ate a lot of pastry that day!), which was good. But not as good as the caramelised lemon tart I had at Lindsey House in Eye. Could do better.

The Bear had the Peach Melba. My god, it was a masterpiece. Fresh whipped vanilla cream, homemade ice cream, oozing fresh poached peaches and lots and lots of naughtiness. It worth going to Quaglino’s just for this. If you go, you should get one, it’s on the a la carte menu.

Nicely full, but not bursting, it was time to get the bill. Now, please bear in mind that this was a freebie and therefore does not accurately reflect the actual cost of the food. We paid for three courses, a glass of wine each, a bottle of mineral water and service, £16. What a joke!!

In the real world you can expect to pay at least another £50 on top of that, if you’re being conservative with the booze.

All in all, the food was good, the service was ok, and the décor was ok. I would probably go back. But please oh please, sort out the music. It spoilt an otherwise splendid afternoon.

Chompy's Mini Eat - Elias Kebab - Turnham Green Terrace - London - 10/10

Do you like falafal? Is so, you need to visit this place. If not, you need to visit this place and be converted.

Elias is a normal looking kebab shop. A few fake-marble topped tables with plastic chairs. A counter filled with cans of pop and various salads and sauces. It's a Lebanese kebab house and the menu is extensive. As well as the usual schwarmas there is a huge list of cold and hot meze dishes and different vegetarian sandwiches.

I was taken by The Bear on the promise of the best falafal in West London, and I wasn't disappointed. We both went for half falafal, half spicy potato, with all the salads and chilli sauce.

We took our load down to Turnham Green as it was a nice hot evening, and settled down to a good munch.

A boy was it good! Soft, crumbly falafal. Thin, non-sticky, spicy sauce. Crisp, floury pitta. Fresh and tasty salad.

GO HERE NOW!!

Pizza Metro Pizza – Battersea Rise – Clapham – 7/10

It has been awfully warm this week, and South London seemed like another country. Gentle breezes, people dining and drinking al fresco, horrid sweaty commuter trains. Ah, the British Summer.

Anyhoo, it feels like a holiday, even if we all have to work as well. So the other night, the Bear and I, and a few chums, went out for a catch up at Pizza Metro Pizza near Clapham Junction. Not by design, but by happy chance, we ended up at this delightful little Italian. How very July.

The restaurant is on the hill leading up to Clapham Common. It looks fairly inconsequential from the outside, if not a little dated. And on the inside the theme continues. Wooden chairs, tiled floor, framed vistas of Italy. Your usual basically.

What makes this local Italian stand out from the ever-growing throng of local Italians is the way they serve their pizzas. All the pizzas are served dramatically on metre long stainless steel pans, set on stainless steel shelves along the length of the table. All the different ingredients for each pizza are set into the same metre-long stretch of dough and divided up pre-serving.

The service was a little on the slow side. We ordered drinks. Pause. We received drinks. BIG pause. We ordered food. Pause. We ask for pepper. Pause. You get the drift. Also, on a hot night like this a jug or two or ice water was required. We were given this initially, but then it was taken away inexplicably and never returned. We asked for extra cutlery that didn’t make it to the table. Small things, but important. The restaurant was busy, but throughout the meal the waiting staff could have been a bit more attentive.

Three of us went for the pizza, and three for the pasta. The pizza was excellent. It had a lovely crisp, floury base, with well-seasoned basil and tomato sauce. The fresh basil on top was a nice touch. I went for the Napoli (my favourite pizza of all time – I eat it everywhere), which has anchovies, capers, and olives. It was very good and generous on the toppings.

The chilli oil was good too. It’s one of my pet hates in such establishments, when the chilli oil is just pink gloop, and you have to lob an artery-busting volume of it on your pizza to get any warmth at all. Luckily this wasn’t the case here. In fact I may have underestimated the power of it.

The pasta side of the table were well pleased too. The pasta was freshly made and al dente. The sauces were rich and deep. The Spaghetti Vongole had a mountain of clams in it. All in all, the food was superb.

An hour or so later we’d eaten our fill, and boy was I glad I just had a main course! The food is copious and filling, but not greasy or cloying.

In total for six main courses plus two bottles of wine and service the bill came to £112. Not bad eh?? Minus points for the service, but the food and the atmosphere were tiptop.